There’s nothing like bout day, is there?
It’s not even about the skating - that’s a whole experience in itself. But the beauty of having your league come together to celebrate something they love is truly excellent.
Yesterday saw the Blitz Dames bouting their old friends Croydon Roller Derby. It must be said, the Dames were on fine form. Their jammer lineup consisted of Violet Attack who sliced through the pack time and time again; Suzette la Flamme who consistently bumped up the scores and never faltered, even in jams that seemed to last forever; Nico Warrior who has always been sneaky but in this game was an actual ninja, and Nina Nunchucks who was just incredible.
No seriously. Nina was incredible. I used to have mixed feelings towards her because she was my derby mum and I always thought she was giving me tough love from afar, when in reality she’d forgotten that I was her daughter. But yesterday she was everything a roller girl aspires to be. Her crossovers! Her juking! Her leaps. I’m telling you, at one point she jumped the apex and I nearly cried, it was that beautiful.
The Croydon side was no less formidable. Totting fearsome war paint, they kept the Dames on their toes. Led by their coach, Herbie Licious who was wearing extremely wide trousers, they were cleaner skaters and impressively kept four blockers on track for the majority of the game.
Mosquito graced our venue again, sprinting around that track and giving our jammers a run for their money. What she lacks in height she makes up for in skill and confidence. One of the jammers I wasn’t familiar with was Vikispeedia but aside from having a great name, she really did live up to it!
I tried to take more notes on Croydon, but instead all I seem to have written about is Gin Atomic’s tiny, tiny skirt. It was so small, I am not even kidding. I mean, this is derby, most players dress like there’s a clothing shortage, but the skirt deserves a mention of its own. She also was kind enough to show me that if she had fallen over, the skirt would have flipped up to reveal pants that aptly read ‘FAIL’.
Ah, rollergirls. What’s not to love.
Aside from the actual bout and Gin Atomic’s TINY, TINY SKIRT, there was much excitement off track The Blitz Dames were selling scandalously generous slices of incredibly yummy cake. My derby wife bought me one slice and I ate it for the entire four hours that I was there, that’s how big it was. There were also gingerbread dames that sadly all suffered debilitation injuries.
Additionally, Izzy Dauntless who makes jewellery that is sort of good (kind of) was taking orders for league rings with name and league initials on (she’s making me one with ‘Daffy Gu Gu’ on it as we speak) and many an order was placed while her son, the Blitz Dames mascot, ran around roaring at people.
Our next match is against Rainy City Roller Girls in Manchester. We’re hiring a bus, so if you want to ride with us - and who wouldn’t - drop us a message!
~ Daphne du Gorier #905
(Roller derby is serious bananas and Daphne is the most serious banana)
*images by Simon White.
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