Blitz Dames Roller Derby Boot Camp

Birmingham Blitz Dames - Birmingham, England's Original All Female Flat Track Roller Derby

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Cirque du soul Pain

This Blitz Dames fundraiser is happening this Sunday night! Click on the picture for more details and be there! Fancy dress encouraged!

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Dollhouse Devastation

Dollhouse Devastation: Blitz Dames vs Leeds Roller Dolls - 18.04.09 - Birmingham

Our gorgeous Diamondback Belle was charged with putting together her bout-thoughts from the audience, after taking herself off the roster by sustaining an injury during practice. Heal quickly, DB, your words are lovely but we'd rather see you skating! So here it is:

Wow! What a fantastic bout on Saturday 18th April. First and foremost, I and everyone in the Blitz Dames want to thank Leeds Roller Dolls for being such fantastic girls, on and off the track. Leeds are definitely going to be a league to watch out for!

They gave us a really good game, but BBDD’s experience in bouting interleague pulled them ahead of the pack. Our girls love to play Derby, as hard and as often as we can!

We had a great crowd – Derby girls from up and down the country game along and gave Leeds sterling support, while we received much love, hollering and stomping from our regular home supporters (and we may have even recruited some Death Metal Jeerleaders – watch this space!).

The first jam showed straight away how close a game this was going to be, with Gun Bunny (BBDD) and Rushin’ Doll (LRD) both speeding to the front of the pack, with neither quite able to break through. Rushin’ was sent flying off the track first – apparently by one of her own blockers – with Bunny quick to join her on the side.. Both girls were fast back on their skates, but Bunny took lead jammer… this time.

Second up was our newest Jammer – Kiki Kasplat – against LRD’s guest skater (AARG), Candy Savage (definitely a girl to look out for on the track). Candy powered through the back, only to be held back by a strong wall from BBDD’s Union Jack-U-Up and Saintly Sin. She broke through and took lead jammer, scoring points for LRD.

The first half was neck and neck with first the Dames, then Leeds, then the Dames pulling ahead. It was also definitely eventful as our own jammer Kiki Kasplat received a double block from the Leeds defence that put her in the hospital! Get Well Soon to our Keeks, who split open her appendix scar in the name of Derby – ouch!

With Kiki off the track, Twink T was doing some amazing skating and quickly caught up with the pack second time round, but couldn’t get beyond BBDD’s Victoria Cross’ fine Derby ass and brilliant positional blocking, forcing Twink to call off the jam.

At the end of the first half it could have gone either way with the scores at 51 to the Home team and 44 to Leeds Roller Dolls.

The start of the second half saw BBDD Jammer Gun Bunny nip right through to the front of the pack as our own Bee Sting blocked LRD Jammer, Twink T into the ref not once, but twice! It’s a dangerous job, reffing these roller girls!

Then there was a Derby pile-up on the track as BBDD’s Union Jack-U-Up wiped out the Leeds jammer, Candy Savage and took three Leeds blockers AND our own Gun Bunny with her. Bunny looked out for the count as trackside paramedics shone a light into her eyes but, although she was off for the next three jams, we’re glad to say she was up and partying late into the night. Candy escaped with an ice pack on her ass and was quickly back on the track.

There was plenty more drama to come with Bee Sting being majored off the track for a magnificent BOOBY block! Some less than eagle-eyed observers have suggested that hands were used, but no, Bee turned around as LRD Jammer Frantic took her second lap through the pack and sent her flying with a power block straight from her Bristols.

Now, Derby Fact Fans (and those just wondering what the hell happened!), this block would have been perfectly legal, even though Bee was facing backwards, if she had continued to move in the normal skating direction or anti-clockwise – you don’t have to be facing the right way, just skating the right way! But Bee’s failed to execute it correctly - her skates moved clockwise and so she was straight in the penalty box to appreciative cheers from the home crowd – naughty, naughty Bee!

Frantic was straight back up and breaking back through the pack but was taken out in a fantastic sweeping block from BBDD’s Roisin Roulette.

Roisin herself was up and jamming soon after, but was soon in the box, alongside BBDD Pivot, Sleazy Rider. There was a brief moment of chaos and Sleazy was ejected from the period for Gross Miscounduct. As the dust settled and the Jam was reset, we found out that Sleazy had removed her pivot helmet in the Penalty Box, which led to another BBDD pivot being put on the track. Sleazy was hollering and waving the panty, but she couldn’t make herself understood in time, so the BBDD pivot on the track was majored straight off. The refs are harsh, but they are fair and their decisions are always final, so Sleazy was out of the remainder of the period..

By this point though the Dames were powering ahead, with Union-Jack-U-Up breaking through the pack once, twice, three times in the penultimate jam before being sent off, leaving the Dames with no Jammer against the whip-fast Frantic for the start of the final jam. Frantic dived through the pack, but couldn’t get past a Helen Fury and Roulette defence at the front of the pack, leaving Union to take the lead straight out of the penalty box and bring the bout home, 141 points to LRD’s 88.

Well, we’ve had a fantastic season so far, playing great teams and getting a lot of experience doing what we love to do best – playing Roller Derby! Our next bout is away against London Roller Girls on June 6th, then we’re back on home turf to take on the formidable Auld Reekie Roller Girls on June 20th to wrap up a fantastic, bout-iful season – see you all there!
All photos courtesy of JHT Photography

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Sweet Journeys

First of all a big virtual good luck wish to all the skaters bouting in London today from all the Blitz Dames. There are a load of Dames coming down to support, and many who wish they were with us. It's going to be awesome!

Though how I'm supposed to sit on the floor and cheer with a rink rashed and bruised behind from Thursday's practice, I don't know. ;-)

But the main event in the Boot Camp today is some words from one of our newest skaters to make it into the advanced pack. A little piece our gobby Australian (her words) Blow Up Betty has been working on for a while, to express how being a part of BB*DD and the roller derby world has made her feel. If you're a proud dame, or even just a proud member of the rollerhood, it might bring a little tear to your eye. Or am I getting soppy in my old age?

Notes From A Newbie - Betty Speaks:

It’s not too often that one can pinpoint those moments in their life that definitively change them, but I am lucky. So incredibly lucky. Because in the last 3 and a half months I’ve had several of those moments, and I can remember them all like it was yesterday.

I walked into my first Blitz Dames induction day in early February 2009. An ex-pat Aussie here on a study exchange looking for a surrogate family, I had always wanted to try roller derby at home in
Adelaide but had never had the time to do so. Halfway across the world, and in Birmingham with no friends or family to distract me, I had nothing to lose. Super keen to get on skates, I arrived at Erdington for newbie practice really early, immediately striking up a conversation with the soon-to-be Bitchy the Killer, and someone who I am proud to call my closest friend and ally on and off the track. The arrival of the rest of the Dames and other newbies like myself bought many smiles, jokes, gossip, catch-ups and the general camaraderie that only females tend to understand when around each other. After cracking a joke at my expense and acquiring the nickname of ‘Skippy’ (for obvious reasons) I got walked through the basics by Bitter Sweet and Saintly Sin. A marginal background in street skating gave me more confidence than my ability warranted, but once thrown into the main pack, instinct takes over. Being on skates and going fast feels so good. I’m hooked.

Fast forward two months, and I’m on the verge of passing basic skills thanks largely due to my ‘derby mum,’ Union Jack-U-Up, a fantastic teacher and a skater who embodies the fearlessness I crave. I’ve developed a healthy little competition with Bitchy, and taken a liking to Friday night casual skates with Rip Lashes, Lornatik, Tekila Rose and Kiki Kasplat amongst others at a random hall in the middle of the sticks. Long car trips and longer conversations on and off the track with Lashes makes me realise that I’m not just acquiring teammates, but making friends. The homesickness subsides with the thought of Fridays and Saturdays, and my time spent in the gym during the week all goes towards cracking into advanced training. Off the track, the girls are becoming used to the cocky, gobby Aussie that always makes her presence in the room known. I’ve never been able to hide the fact that I am an extroverted, opinionated, attention-seeking, honest and loyal woman – here I don’t have to. I’ve finally found a place where I fit, and it’s with all the other misfits. And we’re the coolest of the bunch.

By April, I’ve cracked basic skills, and Bitchy and I are into advanced training on Thursday nights. Violet Attack, Sleazy Rider, Bee Sting, Diabolous Rutilius and Victoria Cross are rubbing their hands in glee at the thought of making me eat track. Hilda Blizzhard doesn’t even threaten me verbally – just a death stare and a smile to let me know I’m about to cop it. I’m just hoping I stay upright. Justine Credible is reassuring me that it will be okay – she’ll spend the trip home still reassuring me, and in the end I won’t care, because Guns ‘n Roses will be cranking and at that moment, singing and head banging will become more important than a few bruises I acquired from the floor or a wayward hip-bone. Off the track, I’m immersed in derby life with derby mates – whether it’s comparing fundraising events, helping Cross make awesome uniforms for intra-league bouts, spending hours on bout programmes, getting my arse whooped at quiz nights, strutting my stuff on the karaoke mic, attending art exhibitions or enjoying a quiet bevvy in the garden at Subside with whoever is around. I’ve managed to come over here with nothing and construct a life for myself, which fills me with a sense of pride, and overwhelming gratitude for the Dames. Our Dames. And now my Dames too.

I don’t ever like to speculate on the future, however, I know that my time here (for now) is limited. I know that, if I want to debut with the Dames before I leave, it’s going to take many practices, much more falling and a whole heap of advice and encouragement from anyone who’ll give it. And I’m going to lap it up. And it’s going to be a whole lot of fun on the way. I want to skate out in the khaki green, I want all of the effort I’ve put in to be eclipsed by that moment. Most of all, I want to show my non-derby friends (including my Aussie mates scattered around the UK) why I spend so much time on the track with these wonderful women, and how happy I am to have found a family.

Why am I so grateful for the last 3 and a half months? I think it’s because I’ve been given the room to form my own opinions about myself and those I surround myself with. The reputation of the Dames precedes them. Never have I met a team that so polarizes opinion – you either love them or you hate them. I fail to see why you would do the latter. Roller derby is a sport of dominant, opinionated women – this is why we are all so attracted to it. What I have learnt is that things get tough and stressful, but at the end of the day all animosity is left on the track. The Dames train hard, play harder and party hardest. Hatchets are slowly being buried by the vanguard, and UK roller derby will be stronger for it. The Dames will meet anyone on the track whatever their circumstances, and I have come to admire this spirit and belief in the team and the khaki green. I’ve come to be a part of it. The last few months have been a privilege – my privilege. There are previous blog posts that break down bouts play by play, that talk of the spoils of partying and impending road trips. For me, the last few months have been all about the people. Not only have I had the chance to learn a new skill, increase my fitness and discover a new passion, but I’ve also had the chance to get to know some fantastic people who I am proud to call my dear friends and teammates. Roller derby is an amazing sport, but it is the people I have met along this journey that have made it that much sweeter.

Once a dame, always a dame…Love Skip xoxo

Lovely words. Now will you stop hitting me on the helmet please, Betty?

Friday, 24 April 2009

A Good Time To Be A Dame

It's been a tough, but enjoyable year so far, and now the Blitz Dames have something like a breather approaching.

We spent January in Stuttgart, then rolled off to Glasgow in February, followed by hosting Middlesborough and Leeds in March and April, and we're skating in NO bouts during May! One bout a month has been a punishing schedule for us, as the injuries have shown; but if this is how they play in the United States, and hey those wimpy footballers can face each other twice a WEEK, then this is what we need to aim for.

We certainly aren't complaining. Every bout has tested and challenged us. With the fierce competitiveness and commitment to the sport shown by every woman we've met on the track, there is never going to be an 'easy' bout. And with roller derby still being such a new sport in this country we still have lots of mistakes to make in order to learn not to make them again. No Blitz Dame is EVER going to take her helmet panty off while serving time in the penalty box, after Sleazy Rider's educational incident during Dollhouse Devastation.

But this learning through bouting is one of the aspects that makes involvement in derby so fulfilling. We are doing it for ourselves and finding out HOW to do it as we go. Hard work? oh yes. Scary at times? certainly. Exhausting? enormously. But worth it? a million times yes.

June promises to be a massively educational month for us. Early on we're away in London to try to regain a little pride against the London Roller girls in our rematch. Capital Punishment was a bout that certainly lived up to its name, as we were conclusively and resolutely shown who had the superior skaters. Was it a 200 point lead? Woah! We've been involved in several bouts since then, and our tactical understanding and stamina is always improving; we're in a much stronger position than back in October 2008, so it's looking positive. But then again we've seen how skilled, hard and fast those LRG girls are. We'll be in it to win it, (how could we NOT?), but having fun, learning from LRG and taking another step towards broadening the foundation of British roller derby will be our priorities.

Later in June, (that's the same month!!!! Two bouts in one month!!!! *faints*) we will be hosting Auld Reekie. Now we've been lucky enough to spend time on the track with a number of ARRG's girls who guest skated for LRD and MMR, so we're prepared to be scared there too. They're looking good as individuals: what terror will they unleash when there's a whole team of them? It'll be hard work, it'll be punishing, but it'll totally be worth it.

Quite apart from the bouting we've got an exciting roller-schedule. This weekend we're super excited about going down to London for TWO BOUTS IN ONE DAY *cheers* as the LRG teams battle each other in their Grand Slam event. It'll be so lovely, if a little unusual, to be able to just enjoy the derby without having a million and one other things to worry about and do. (Although personally I'm a little torn. I made my LRG team allegiance during Clockwork Carnage, and want to cheer for the Ultraviolent Femmes, but they're up against Barock City, who were so supportive of BBDD when we travelled to Germany for the New Year's Massacre. Decisions, decisions. Can I cheer for everyone?)

During May we're looking forward to our night of entertaining the punters at our sponsor Subside with our event Cirque du Soul Pain. And then we're due to have some fun, skating and socialising with the London Rockin Rollers. July has the opportunity to celebrate the sport we love so much, and spread the word, at NASS fest and Roll Britannia.

Isn't it funny how roller derby takes over everything once you get involved! Love it! <3 <3 <3


And how could I forget to mention that we're skating with The Fox during Brum's Pride???? The theme is pink and green. I'm hoping this means the pink of roller bruises allied with the green of BB*DD's khakis!

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Dollhouse Devastation

This weekend the Blitz Dames hosted Leeds Roller Dolls' first public bout in Dollhouse Devastation. It was another friendly, fun and hard fought bout, not without educational incident, which ended with a Blitz Dames victory. The final score was 141 to Leeds' 88. Full write up coming soon, but a big thanks to the lovely Roller Dolls, and their lovely guest skaters, who were a pleasure to skate and party with. We're looking forward to the re-match!

And wowsers, that was an AMAZING merch display, must take a few notes... :-)

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Thursday, 16 April 2009

Smack Attack

As the bout with Leeds is almost upon us, tickets still available here, at long last here is the write up from Smack Attack!

On the 21st of March 2009 the Middlesborough Milk Rollers rolled up to Cocks Moors Woods Leisure Centre, Birmingham, in the bright spring sunshine to take on Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames for Middlesborough's first public bout. Although there was a smaller crowd than most of BBDD's home bouts, largely due to the London based Glasgow Roller Girls/London Rockin Rollers' bout scheduled for the same day, there was a cracking atmosphere. MMR and visiting referees received a warm welcome and were fabulous guests.

The referees were:
Head Ref: Justine Credible (BB*DD)
Jam Ref: Cain Unstable (ARRG)
Jam Ref: Scrim Reaper (BBRG)
Pack Ref: Karl Lagerfilled (RCRG)
Pack Ref: Matt the Knife (LRD)
Pack Ref: Noise Pollution (MMR)
Pack Ref: Pink A Boo (MMR)
Blow Up Betty and Jack Off Licence
BB*DD Line Up Manager: The Skatrix
MMR Line Up Manager: Moody Fuse

MMR Skaters:
Captain: Rita Von Sleaze #7
Co-Captain: Germaine Leer #27
Oompah Thump-Ya #410
Darcey Hustle #28
Fraulein Wunder #6
Smokin Ace #23
Eve O Lution #666
Inky Minx #81 (BBRG Guest Skater)
Tartan Tearaway #509 (ARRG Guest Skater)
Track Widow #8 Ball (BBRG Guest Skater)
Armalite Angie #30-30-150 (ARRG Guest Skater)
Ciderella #-3C (ARRG Guest Skater)
Hurricane Hayles #74mph (ARRG Guest Skater)

BB*DD Skaters:
Captain: Violet Attack # 16
Co-Captain: Union Jack-U-Up #333
Roisin Roulette #N17
Sleazy Rider #15
Hilda BlizzHard #52
Bee Sting #101
KiKi Kasplat #79
Saintly Sin #14U
Elle Fire #11
Victoria Cross #27
Gun Bunny #888
Diamondback Belle #77
Bitter Sweet #<3
Diabolus Rutilus #55
Talula Trash #86

Period One:
Jam One. Gun Bunny gets lead jammer, Inky Minx gets to check out the penalty box. BB*DD 4 - MMR O
Jam Two. Inky Minx comes out of the penalty box to gain lead jammer status before KiKi Kasplat can get through, despite a lovely whip offered to the Birmingham jammer by Victoria Cross. BB*DD 15 - MMR 6
Jam Three. Sleazy Rider beats Oompah Thump-Ya to lead jammer. BB*DD 18 - MMR 7
Jam Four. A great jam for Violet Attack, the only jammer to pass through the pack. BB*DD 27 - MMR 7
Jam Five. Hilda Blizzhard is beaten to lead jammer by Fraulein Wunder. BB*DD 30 - MMR 1O
Jam Six. Neither Oompah Thump-Ya nor Gun Bunny make it through without penalties, and Bunny is sent to the penalty box. BB*DD 36 - MMR 18
Jam Seven. Gun Bunny starts in the box, Ciderella ends up in it. BB*DD 39 - MMR 18
Jam Eight. Attack’s second turn as jammer. BB*DD 48 - MMR 18
Jam Nine. Blizzhard vs. Thump-Ya. BB*DD 54 - MMR 22
Jam Ten. Gun Bunny beats Inky Minx to lead jammer, Union Jack-U-Up offers Violet a whip and there is cold, ruthless blocking from Roisin. BB*DD 57 - MMR 22
Jam Eleven. Ciderella beats KiKi Kasplat to lead jammer. BB*DD 60 - MMR 41
Jam Twelve. Sleazy Rider takes lead jammer ahead of Germaine Leer, who ends up in the penalty box. BB*DD 63 - MMR 41
Jam Thirteen. Germaine Leer remains the MMR jammer from the box and rejoins Violet Attack on the track, but neither make it to lead jammer. BB*DD 72 - MMR 41
Jam Fourteen. Hilda Blizzhard is lead jammer, Oompah Thump-Ya is held back. BB*DD 77 - MMR 41
Jam Fifteen. Gun Bunny gets lead jammer, and this time the pack prevents Germaine Leer from getting through. BB*DD 83 - MMR 41
Jam Sixteen. Union Jack-U-Up gets through first to get three points as lead jammer, but Rita Von Sleaze gets four. Half time score: BB*DD 86 - MMR 45

Period Two
Jam One. Gun Bunny is the first lead jammer of the second period. Oompa Thump Ya comes crashing off the track, through a table and into Noise Pollution. BB*DD 92 - MMR 45
Jam Two. KiKi Kasplat skates furiously focused but Inky Minx slips through. BlizzHard gets majored. BB*DD 95 - MMR 48
Jam Three. Fraulein Wunder slides through the pack and into lead jammer, but Sleazy Rider’s right on her tail. BB*DD 99 - MMR 51
Jam Four. Hilda BlizzHard is still in the penalty box. The pack is loose and no one is awarded lead jammer status. An excellent jam for Violet Attack who gains 19 legal passes. BB*DD 118 - MMR 51
Jam Five. Jammer Hilda BlizzHard and Roisin Roulette are sent off. Ciderella takes lead jammer and five points. BB*DD 118 - MMR 56
Jam Six. Violet Attack seems to be holding off the MMR insurgence single handed, or solo behinded, as she positions herself in front of everyone. Blizzhard gets six points on her return. BB*DD 124 - MMR 57
Jam Seven. Sees a pile up and OSMS rushing on to ensure everyone’s in one piece. Smokin Ace goes down with a dislocated shoulder and everyone drops to one knee hoping her injuries aren’t serious. Roisin’s tenure as lead jammer is short lived. BB*DD 125 - MMR 57
Jam Eight. Gun Bunny is knocked flying and Kiki is sent off. BB*DD 136 - MMR 59
Jam Nine. Fraulein Wunder makes hearty attempts to keep up, but Hilda BlizzHard is just too fast, determined and powerful. Diabolus Rutilus and Elle Fire show their skills as they glide effortlessly through the pack to be where they want to be. BB*DD 138 - MMR 61
Jam Ten. Hilda BlizzHard jolts through the pack like a pinball, taking lead jammer as the pack prevents Fraulein Wunder’s progress. And with twelve and a half minutes to go, the score is BB*DD 146 - MMR 61
Jam Eleven. A great jam for lead jammer KiKi Kasplat who slides through the pack, with Elle Fire attentively distracting the MMR pack, to pull Birmingham more than one hundred points ahead of Middlesborough. BB*DD 160 - MMR 61
Jam Twelve. Sleazy loses lead jammer to Armalite Angie. BB*DD 161- MMR 64
Jam Thirteen. Oompah Thump-Ya storms through the pack, beating Gun Bunny to lead jammer, but she is then sent to the box. Bitter Sweet and Bunny tangle up, and Bunny is later helped off the track by the medics. BB*DD 161 - MMR 72
Jam Fourteen. With Oompah Thump-Ya still in the box, Union Jack-U-Up storms into her finest moment. Again and again she whips round the track, slicing through the MMR pack like a hot knife slides through butter, racking up a whopping 26 points. Diabolus Rutilus shows her steel, absorbing a fierce blow from Germaine Leer. BB*DD 187 - MMR 72
Jam Fifteen. There can’t be much more now. Hilda BlizzHard waits for the second whistle with Fraulein Wunder again at her side, as Bee Sting‘s booty manipulates the pack. The Blitz Dames have clearly won the bout, but by how much, what have the Milk Rollers got to show in the final minutes? The Middlesborough jammer gets through first, showing the northerners’ spirit, it ain’t over yet, Birmingham! Middlesborough are still fighting. But BlizzHard is just too tough and scores seven to Wunder’s three. It’s BB*DD 194 - MMR 75
Jam Sixteen. With about half a minute left on the clock, the final ten on the track know this is it! Roisin Roulette and Ciderella are the last two skaters to jam. And though they must all be exhausted after an hour’s furious skating, the enthusiasm and determination remains undiminished. BB*DD 198 - MMR 78

We MMRemember, The Blitz Dames speak:

Roisin Roulette: “Bitter Sweet taking a hit, getting back up and catching the pack to try and knock Armalite Angie over (you have to admire her ambition! first bout and all .....) “

Victoria Cross: “Angie coming on to jam like a steam locomotive with everyone from both teams fighting to get out of her way!”

Roisin Roulette: “Diabolus Rutilus wanting to skate every jam…Kiki really making her mark as a jammer and also getting in some good hits”

Blow Up Betty: “Watching Roulette, Kasplat and Sleazy break up wall after wall with
fierce fearlessness had me in awe for the match.”

The Skatrix: “Diabolus made a fearsome blocker 4!”

Roisin Roulette: “Blizzhard, Sin and Elle Fire clearing the MMR blockers off the inside line towards the front of the pack, Diamondback and VC and Bee in the thick of it, UJ and Sleazy all over the track, hitting at the back and then
getting in front of the MMR jammer when she thought she was through; it was
a lovely bout to jam in.”

Blow Up Betty: “Their little jammers Ooompa Thumpa and Ciderella both did a great job at getting up again and again after getting trampled by the dames defence.”

Roisin Roulette: “U-J's look of baffled innocence when Germaine Leer said she'd elbowed her in the face (like how would she reach that high anyway?)”

Saintly Sin: “There we are, standing around, the air around us electrified and Skatrix tells us to get on the bench and the positions we are to play. “Kiki-pivot, Diamondback-2, Sin-3,UJ(?)-4, Roisin-jamming.” We park our backsides on the bench, quivering in excitement and Kiki turns to me “Wow, I’ve never been in the last jam before” It dawns on me then, oh my, this is it, this is gonna be the last jam, this is just the glory jam, we won it already, this will be fun.
Elle Fire turns to everyone and says “It is, it’s the last one, this is it. Shall we just batter them? Let’s just destroy them. Free for all dames, knock them down”. We all agree, we are just gonna have some fun with this and just do as much bashing as possible.
The whistle blows. Skatrix tells us to get on the track. We skate on, focused, and ready for some fun. We line up, a milk roller stands next to me and smiles, I grin back, she knows what’s coming. The pack whistle is blown, we start to skate, we’re partway round the track and I see white, blue and pink roll up next to me, is she a jammer? A pivot? A blocker? Quite frankly I don’t care, she is a Milk Roller and for now, she is the opposition so BANG and she is on the floor, oh yes, she is down, I make a fist for a personal little celebration of my take down and across he PA I hear Jack “Saintly Sin is celebrating her take down” thanks Jack.
As the Milk Rollers went down, our Roisin just slipped through the pack with ease, that’s our Roisin, jammer extraordinaire. Time ends and the final whistle blows with Roisin managing to bring the score to an amazing 198 to the Dames. We have done it, Middleborough Milk Rollers 78, Blitz Dames 198. It’s time for the victory lap, so many high fives, so many smiling faces from both the crowd and the amazing Middleborough girls. What a fantastic bunch and what a pleasure to skate with.
Party time, and even before my skates are off, a pina colada appears in my hand*…"

Roisin Roulette: “Bee scaring the MMR girls, UJ knocking 'em down, Blizzhard a quick and strong pivot and tireless jammer, Attack getting sent off at the start,
then getting into her groove and cutting through the pack with her usual incisive skating but taking responsibility as captain to pivot and let the new jammers have a go.”

The Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames loved hosting the Middlesborough Milk Rollers and can’t wait for the rematch!

*although, of course, Ms Saintly Sin didn’t DRINK it until she had removed her skates. Blitzdames follow the rules TO THE LETTER!

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Dollhouse Devastation

Only a few more days to go until BB*DD's second home bout of 2009 against the Leeds Roller Dolls. Tickets to the bout at Cocks Moors Woods Leisure Centure are still available through the website. Click here to get yours now.

Can BB*DD make it yet another victory? Who's going to be eating track? Will anyone beat Union Jack-U-Up's 26 points in one jam? Can BB*DD crash through the 200 point ceiling? And most importantly, who will win the raffle??? It could be you...

Dollhouse Devastation promises to be a hard fought display of entertainment that you'd be crazy to miss.

And if you are coming, why not make a banner for your favourite skater to cheer her on!

Saturday, 4 April 2009


Here it is at last, the much anticipated bout write up from the Glasgow Roller Girls:

Glasgow Roller Girls held the rematch against the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames on Sat 21st February in what proved to be a nail biting game. The Blitz Dames only had 10 skaters on their roster with the Irn Bruisers having 4 skaters on their debut and without a star jammer, who is pregnant.

Irn Bruisers
Betty Go Go
Cremola D'Ville
Evil Von Detta
Jaci Dodger
Lucky Hateball
Maddy Hacket
Mistress Malicious
Razor Rockette
Sister Grimm
Skate Edge
Switchblade Sarah
Venus Velocity
Viper Den
Whiskey Galore

Bench Managers:
Zena Phobia
Fox Sake

Brummie Bombshells
Bee Sting
Elle Fire
Gun Bunny
Helen Fury
Kiki Kasplat
Riosin Roulette
Sleazy Rider
Union Jack U Up
Victoria Cross
Violet Attack

Bench Managers:
Saintly Sin

The Referees:
Three Majors
Ballistic Whistle
Brutally Frank
Justine Credible
Reffin Rebel
Rip Lashes

The Announcers
Lil Cheesecake
Big Cat Merv

The first jam of the game had Jaci Dodger up against Roisin Roulette with Jaci getting lead. They both get through to earn 4 points each. GRG 4 BBDD 4

Violet Attack sails through the pack, but picks up a minor for Hands to lose lead jammer status. Bee Sting manages to keep Maddy Hackitt back while Violet comes through the pack again for a Grand Slam. Maddy keeps fighting but just fails to break through before Union jack U Up is sent off for her first time for taking Maddy down with a back block. The jam runs the full length with Violet lapping another twice and she earns her team 15 points, and also has the highest scoring jam of the bout. GRG 4 BBDD 19

Skate Edge makes her debut for GRG on the jammer line alongside Gun Bunny. This time it is Skate Edges turn to sail through the pack untouched to take lead jammer. BBDD fail to break the GRG defence and Skate Edge gets a Grand Slam. GRG 9 BBDD 19

Jaci Dodger dodges her way wonderfully through to get lead status with Roisin Roulette not too far behind. Jaci comes round to get her 4 points with Roisin managing to pick up 2 points before the jam is called. GRG 13 BBDD 21

A knock from Viper Den causes Helen Fury to cut track at the front and she is sent to the box just as Violet Attack gets through the pack. Maddy Hackitt is behind a Bee Sting and Union Jack U Up wall when the GRG pulls the pack back and, although the refs are signalling and shouting that they are out of play, Bee takes Maddy down to earn herself a trip to the box. By this time Violet has come around and caught out the GRG and sneaks through for a Grand Slam. Maddy breaks through but a messy GRG allow Violet through once more before she calls the jam. GRG 13 BBDD 30

BBDD only have 2 blockers on the next jam and Skate Edge easily gets through with Gun Bunny getting sent to the box for track cutting whilst trying to get up the inside line. The BBDD show their defence skills and keep Skate back but it isn’t long before Bee is sent back to the box by Ballistic Whistle for taking Skate Edge down using an elbow. Gun Bunny comes back out the box before Skate decides to call the jam after picking up 3 points. However, an officiating error also gives Gun Bunny 3 points. GRG 16 BBDD 33

For the third time Jaci Dodger and Roisin Roulette are jamming against each other and again for the third time Jaci breaks through first to gain lead jammer with Roisin hot on her heels. And again Jaci gets through to get the 4 points with Roisin picking up 2. GRG 20 BBDD 35

In the next jam Violet Attack took the lead with Maddy Hackit just behind her and Violet managed to pick up 4 points to Maddy’s 1 before calling it off. GRG 21 BBDD 39

Union Jack U Up was sent off again for using an elbow to take Skate Edge down. Gun Bunny takes several knocks and eventually a take out from Sister Grimm winds her and she doesn’t get back up. Skate Edge had gained 3 points as the Referees stop the jam and the medics attend to Gun Bunny. GRG 24 BBDD 39

Jaci Dodger is on the line this time with Violet Attack and yet again takes lead jammer with a nippy dodge up the inside line on one foot, however Violet is not far behind. Helen Fury takes Jaci down as she gets to the front on the scoring pass causing her to call the jam but not before Violet has got through. GRG 26 BBDD 43

Union Jack U Up takes her first turn of jamming up against Maddy Hackitt and both are held back by great defensive play. Union is the one who makes it through and laps around to find Maddy still to break the pack. Union takes Maddy down on her way past with an elbow which gets her sent to the box before scoring. The jam goes the full 2 minutes without any scoring. GRG 26 BBDD 43

BBDD jammer starts in the box but Sleazy Rider manages to keep Skate Edge back long enough for Union Jack U Up to come out and break through not far behind Skate and knocks her down on her way past to cause Skate to call the jam off. GRG 26 BBDD 43

Next Jaci Dodger shows her dodging skills by taking lead jammer over Violet Attack with Jaci taking 4 points to Violet's 3, with Lucky Hateball going to the box for back blocking. GRG 30 BBDD 46

Gun Bunny gets sent to the box during her first pass through the pack for her 4th Minor, leaving Skate Edge to battle through and earn 5 points before Gun gets back out the box. GRG 35 BBDD 46

This time Violet gets through the pack first but doesn’t get the lead, leaving Jaci Dodger battling to get past the BBDD defence. Union Jack U Up gets sent to the box for using an elbow to take Jaci down. When Jaci gets through she is declared lead jammer and calls the jam off just as Violet manages to pick up a point. GRG 35 BBDD 47

After picking up her 4th Major penalty Union Jack U Up is ejected from the rest of the period and is sent to the locker rooms and Roisin Roulette serves the rest of her time in the penalty box.

Mistress Malicious is on the jammer line for the first time up against Gun Bunny and manages to sail through the pack with a hip whip on Sister Grimm. Mistress picks up a Grand Slam whilst Gun is kept back by a strong GRG defence. Viper Den earns a trip to the box for using an elbow. Mistress takes another pass through the pack and calls the jam after earning 9 points. Half time score GRG 44 BBDD 47

The second period starts with Viper Den in the box and Mistress Malicious and Gun Bunny on the jammer line. Gun Bunny gets lead jammer but a helping push through from Helen Fury results in her falling and the pack passing her again. So Gun decides the call the Jam. GRG 44 BBDD 47

Next both Jaci Dodger and Violet Attack battle through the pack again, with Violet getting knocked down hard by Evel Von Detta but recovers very quickly to get lead jammer with Jaci immediately behind. As they reach the pack Violet gets knocked out of bounds by Cremola D’Ville and calls the jam just as Jaci sails through to the front. GRG 48 BBDD 49

Helen Fury’s hard shoulder keeps Skate Edge back a couple of times and Gun Bunny is helped through to get lead jammer but is closely followed by Skate who overtakes her on the way back to the pack so Gun Bunny calls the jam. A referee’s time out results in Maddy Hackit being sent to the box for track cutting. GRG 48 BBDD 49

Whiskey Galore falls in front of Union Jack U Up, tripping her up and gets Whiskey sent straight to the box. Union gets lead jammer with Mistress Malicious coming through the pack just behind. Viper Den knocks Union to the inside track but Union skates straight back in to the pack to earn herself a Major. The 2 GRG blockers help Mistress get through to earn a Grand Slam and Maddy Hackit coming out the box also helps her get the second one. Bee Sting comes out the box to rejoin the pack and takes Mistress down on her 3rd pass through but later Bee earns herself another major penalty for tripping. The 2 minutes is up and Mistress gets 13 points taking GRG into the lead for the first time. GRG 61 BBDD 49

Jaci Dodger starts jamming unopposed as GRG hold back the pack and Helen Fury earns a trip to the box for blocking out of play. Union Jack U Up comes out the box catching the GRG unaware and sails through to catch up and pass Jaci who calls the jam but not before Union gains a point. GRG 61 BBDD 50

Both Mistress and Violet are battling for several laps to break the pack and it's Violet who makes it first with Mistress just behind. Mistress is getting through the pack first when Maddy Hackitt’s toe stop comes off and trips her up leaving Violet to call the jam when she gets to the front. Both jammers get 3 points for their teams GRG 64 BBDD 53

Jaci Dodger knocks Gun Bunny down on the whistle and easily sails through the pack to get the lead. Cremola D’Ville gets sent to the box for taking Gun down with a back block and just as Gun has got up Jaci is coming round to lap her and takes Gun down heavily again. Gun doesn’t get up and Jaci earns a point before the jam is stopped by the Referees. Medics attend to a very brave and battered Gun Bunny who sits out the rest of the game. GRG 65 BBDD 53

Union Jack U Up gains lead with Skate Edge being taken down and kept back by Bee Sting. Union earns a Grand Slam before Skate manages to break the pack and Union gets through again to earn 9 points before calling the jam. GRG 65 BBDD 62

Mistress Malicious gets through on the inside to gain the lead with Violet Attack earning a trip to the penalty box. A pile up with Sister Grimm and Switchblade Sarah leaves Switchblade Sarah injured on the track and Mistress has earned 3 points when the Referees stop the jam. The medics attend to Switchblade Sarah and she is instructed to sit out the next 3 jams. GRG 68 BBDD 62

Jaci Dodger looks to be powering through the pack unopposed but an excellent hit to the inside corner by Roisin Roulette causes her to cut track and is sent to the box. However before she is there Violet Attack comes out the box and eventually, after getting past Sister Grimm, who is sent to the box for blocking out of play, gets through to immediately call the jam. GRG 68 BBDD 62

GRG start with 2 blockers and jammer in the box. Viper Den and Whiskey Galore wall up at the back to try to hold back Union Jack U Up but she gets through to score 9 points taking BBDD back into the lead. GRG 68 BBDD 71

Violet Attack gets sent to the box for bringing down Razor Rockette on her first pass through the pack leaving Maddy Hackit to battle through to earn her 5 points just as Violet is coming back on track. GRG are back in the lead again. GRG 73 BBDD 71

Sister Grimm takes down Union Jack U Up and Mistress Malicious manages to break through and she earns her team 4 points but delays in calling the jam which allows Union to pick up 1 point. GRG 77 BBDD 72

Next jam Violet Attack gains lead jammer but Jaci Dodger is taken down at the front by Helen Fury and doesn’t get back up again. The Jam is called whilst the medics attend to Jaci and she is helped from the track and has to sit out the rest of the game. GRG 77 BBDD 72

Betty GoGo takes a turn jamming for GRG but it is Violet Attack who picks up a Grand Slam before Betty breaks the pack. Violet comes round again and picks up another 2 points before taking a big hit from Evel Von Detta and calls it off. Evel is sent off to the box for Skating Clockwise to Block. BBDD reclaims the lead. GRG 77 BBDD 79

Next is the most controversial jam of the game. Union Jack U Up takes the lead in front of Mistress Malicious, with Helen Fury and Sleazy Rider both getting sent off for blocking out of bounds. Union laps to pick up 3 points on her scoring pass, gaining a minor for Cutting Track, but this time Union delays in calling the Jam which allows Mistress to follow her through the pack. However, an error means that the 4 points that Mistress gained is not reflected in the score and the BBDD lead is extended further. GRG 77 BBDD 82

Violet Attack gets held back by a GRG wall at the front and it’s Maddy Hackit who gains lead. Violet Attack gets sent to the box for taking Betty GoGo down with an Elbow, and then immediately picks up another for an Illegal Procedure when she takes out her gum shield on the track to shout at the Referee. Maddy manages to pick up 3 points before she too is sent to the box for Cutting Track resulting in a jammerless jam. GRG 80 BBDD 82

Skate Edge and Union Jack U Up take the star panties from the jammers in the box and the teams line up again but then Violet Attack is ejected from the game for picking up her 4th Major in the period. This means Union has to sit out Violets remaining time in the box and Skate Edge jams unopposed. Both teams know that this is the deciding jam in such a very closely matched game and both give it their all. Skate finds it hard to get through and it taken down several times. Union comes out the box and catches the GRG unaware and picks up a point before the jam goes the full 2 minutes. Final Score GRG 80 BBDD 83

The Glasgow Roller Girls would like to thank the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames for yet another hard fought and eventful match, and, as always, a big Thank You to all the officials and bout staff.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

You'd Think I'd Get Sick Of It...But I Never Do.

Winning I mean!

On the 28th of March the Blitz Dames did their first intra-league was only a mini demonstration at a skate show but man did we pack some action in those two 10 minute periods!

The Brummy Bombshells Vs The Birmingham Sirens!!!

We went into this thinking 'it's just a bit of fun! We don't want to hurt each other, we have too many bouts coming up!'.....that soon changed!

The Bombshells take an early Jammer KiKi Kasplat, a dab hand Hilda Blizzhard and the force to be reckoned with Helen Fury stack up the points while Victoria Cross, Saintly Sin and the Blitz Dames' newest blocker Kylie Volatile hold back the Sirens' Jammers and pound the blockers!

Half time arrives...Bee Sting is furious! Sleazy Rider is pissed, her first time as Captain will not be a loss! Violet Attack is not used to losing! Bitter Sweet is beaten and battered but raring to go...back to the penalty box *Rolls Eyes*! Talula and Doc are just ready to get back out there and whoop some ass! After a team talk the Sirens are back with a vengence that the Bombshells feel!


Bee Sting starts belting the Bombshells like only Bee Sting can! Newbie Blocker Bitter Sweet shows herself to be a dirty player doing anything to get the other players down (paying the price in the penalty box, 2 majors and 3 minors in 10 minutes) and giving Victoria Cross a knock to remember! Doc takes on the mighty Fury and Talula's giving it all she has to change that score around! While Jammers Sleazy Rider and Violet Attack rack up those points...even with the dirty play from the Bombshells (20 foot Hilda and Fury ;) ) and quickly turn the Sirens' frowns upside down and that score around too!

Final score: Bombshells 47 - Sirens 57!

Bitter Sweet <3

L-R Violet Attack, Bee Sting, Sleazy Rider, Diabolus Rutilus (Doc), Bitter Sweet, Talula Trash.