Canada or BUST - Ramshackle Xmas Roller Disco!

Come shake off the cold an boogie down to some old skool roller disco tunes at the Ramshackle Roller Disco this Friday, Dec 19, 2008.

Dames will be on hand looking hot, selling our brand new 2009 calendars (great stocking stuffers!) Help us raise some much needed dosh by buying our cakes and raffle tickets!

Tickets £6 advance from http://www.birmingham-academy.co.uk/ Bring a load of your mates! Groups of 10 or more £2 each!

Time and Place
Start Time:
Friday, December 19, 2008 at 8:00pm
End Time:
Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 3:30am
Location:
Carling Academy Birmingham
Street:
52-54 Dale End
City/Town:
Birmingham, United Kingdom

My year on wheels - by Roisin Roulette

My derby year - 2008

My name is Roisin and I am addicted to skating.

I first came to the Blitzdames open practice in September last year, then took a couple of months off for an op, coming back in November 2007. I’ve had quad skates and in-lines before, skated on streets and in parks and at roller discos but never really learned to do any more than go quite fast and stop quite slowly. I think I have skated more in 2008 than all the rest of my life put together; and as I learned to skate in 1975, that’s quite something. It has all been great. So what were the highest points of 2008?

Early in the year, the Blitzdames took a minibus load of skaters down to the London Roller Girls Boot Camp. This was a grand day out, marred only by Kiki Kasplat breaking her thumb in the newbie scrimmage (some girls apparently didn’t understand the ‘light contact for safety reasons’ instructions) and Rip Lashes sustaining a knee injury; I also travelled to Tottenham Green to watch 3 bouts in London in 2008 and enjoyed the atmosphere, skating and cupcakes. Sadly our home venue doesn’t let us sell food or drink….. Blitzdames also travelled to support their favourite teams bouting in Glasgow.

We had a great mixed practice with Middlesbrough in the spring and were kindly provided with beds or floorspace and a top night out in Middlesbrough with the Milk Rollers, which we followed by skating (somewhat gingerly) with Leeds Roller Dolls the next day.

My first bout was against Glasgow in April – the first bout for me and quite a few other Blitzdames; we had seen Glasgow bout in London (with our Violet Attack guest skating) so we knew it was going to be a close game; they had 13 skaters to our ten and were in the lead at half time. I think our endless endurance drills paid off and we came back to win by a narrow margin. It was a fiercely contested bout; I played blocker and jammer and was knocked into a complete backwards somersault at one point. Just before the end of the bout I trailed my right hand behind me as I fell and bent back 3 fingers - two of them are still swollen now in December… for months I couldn’t dress or wipe without thinking of the Glasgow girls…!

In sunny May we skated 20 hot and bumpy outdoor miles round Cannon Hill Park raising money for PHAB camps (a local children’s charity), and hosted a roller disco. With cakes!
June was all about the Team Canada bout; we met them at their hostel and had a meal together the night before and partied with them after the bout, but the actual bout was the most physical and competitive event in which I have ever been involved. I hit the wall wheels first on two occasions, and we have a big venue with loads of trackside clearance. Every Dame was battered and bruised after that one; Gun Bunny broke a toe but still get her heels on for the after party.
In July we screened the UK premier of Hell on Wheels and on the same day had a boot camp/open scrimmage event. Some of our girls went to Rollercon; the rest of us made the most of the summer and skated outdoors in venues as far afield as Wolverhampton and Kings Norton.
August and September were quieter months, apart from Leeds Boot Camp, with some time spent fund raising and promotional skating. Eliza Doolethal broke her hand in practice. We had a fabulous day shooting our 2009 calendar at various glamorous locations round Birmingham; my husband remarked that if we spent as much time training as we did posing we’d surely be world beaters by now, but he’s just jealous. And he can’t skate.

In October we travelled to Glasgow for the fabulous Glasvegas training camp hosted by the Glasgow girls with Ivanna S Pankin and Trish the Dish; we bouted London Roller Girls travel team, London Brawling, the following week and although we knew they were very good we were still surprised by the eventual score. We had Armalite Angie, Marla Mayhem, Sister Grimm and Liv or Die helping out as we had injuries and unavailable skaters; hopefully the rematch will be closer… we definitely learned from the experience.

We had planned a bout against Birmingham Alabama this winter but the Tragic City girls couldn’t raise the funds needed to travel and we had to find a replacement fixture at short notice. So November brought the Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz to Birmingham and a more evenly matched bout, although there were a number of issues with interpretation of the rules. Bee was injured, Sleazy Rider was away, Gun Bunny hadn’t jammed for months, Eliza Dolethal was still out, and I was vomiting on the day and had to sit the match out after the first few jams, so we were pleased to win. We’re looking forward to going to Stuttgart in January for the return match. (Birmingham Alabama is rescheduled for summer 2009).

There has been plenty of drama off track too; engagements, break ups, moving in and moving out, derby weddings, tempers lost and truces reached; skaters have taken on and given up responsibilities in the league for work and family reasons; Helen Fury and the Skatrix (now known as Cupid Stunt) are tearing themselves away to concentrate on developing Severn Roller Torrent and Justine Credible has taken over as our Head Ref.

And that’s just the stuff I’m allowed to mention…

So, in December we’re having an open practice on 6th (new starters welcome) and a mixed practice with the Leeds Roller Dolls on the 13th. That’s a pretty busy derby year for a league which this time last year was struggling to recover from the mass departure of the girls who then formed Central City Rollergirls. Maybe we’ll see them on the track next season.

Maybe we’ll see you?

Merry Christmas everyone.

Roisin Roulette
N17

Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames ENGLAND defeats Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz GERMANY, 81-75

22 November 2008 at Cocks Moors Woods, Birmingham, England UK

Bout Recap

Making roller sports history again the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames hosted the Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz in the first ever pan-European bout held in the UK. Both leagues seemed closely matched in terms of physical size, experience, speed and strength. Birmingham skating without two of their most experienced and very strong players, Bee Sting (injury) and Sleazy Rider (work obligations) but were bolstered by the presence of Helen Fury, who stepped in at short notice after being originally unavailable to skate this bout. Each team were skating with 12 skaters, however Birmingham jammer Roisin Roulette began feeling ill and struggled to keep up with the pack on the warm up laps and this was potentially a problem since Birmingham were already short of jammers, with another jammer, Tear E Hatchet just back from injury. Victoria Cross made her bouting debut for Birmingham as a blocker.

First Period

Scoring was close for the first few jams as the skaters sussed each other out. Jam 1 of the first period was Tear E Hatchet for Birmingham against Blitzkrieg Baby for Stuttgart taking lead jammer but scoring zero points. Birmingham’s defensive tactic in the pack seemed to be paying off but Stuttgart responded and differences in playing style became apparent; the Stuttgart girls play a physical game and there seemed to be a bit of confusion as to the rules as Birmingham skate to the WFTDA 3.1 ruleset where blocking out of bounds and cutting the track are major penalties with Justine Credible as Head Ref strode the infield with authority and kept the proceedings in order despite a number of official time outs and language barriers.

Jam 2 Violet Attack for Birmingham gets lead jammer and calls it off just as SVRG's Dolly BustHer hit the pack scoring only one point. Birmingham's blockers Helen Fury and Union Jack-U-Up were delivering some heavy hits, with Violet Attack jamming and blocking at the same time with her usual forceful impact.

Jam 3 Hilda Blizzhard for Birmingham against Miss Tsunami gaining lead jammer status and scoring four points before calling it off with Birmingham gaining zero on this jam. Jam 4 Birmingham's Roisin Roulette first and last jam as she gets lead jammer gaining two points against Polly Purgatory who gets zero points to help. At this stage there is only one point between the teams with Birmingham 6 against Stuttgart 5.

Lining up for Jam 5 up for the first time jamming is Dame Union Jack-U-Up against SVRG Public Enemy who gets lead jammer, as Birmingham blockers Kiki Kasplat appeared to try out a horizontal block at one point and Elle Fire was solid at the front whether as blocker or pivot, combining well forming walls and preventing the Stuttgart jammers from progressing through with Union gaining four points for Birmingham and Public Enemy calling off the jam after gaining only two.

Jam 6 Birmingham jammer Tear E Hatchet skates against Noxious Angel as lead jammer gaining four more points for SVRG with Birmingham gaining zero. Jam 7 Birmingham blocker Saintly Sin was a constant bother to the Stuttgart players usually causing trouble towards the back of the pack as Violet Attack gains lead jammer status against Dolly BustHer who manages to gain three points over Attack's one before she called it off.

The UK’s youngest rollergirl, Gun Bunny skating for Birmingham, was asked to jam despite a lack of recent jamming practice when Roisin Roulette went off to be sick after the fourth jam leaving Birmingham down to 11 skaters.

Jam 8 started with some confusion where SVRG started with two skaters in the penalty box and full four skaters on the track; despite efforts from officiator Promise Payback to signal to the refs, the jam progressed with too many SVRG skaters on the track and but Gun Bunny manages to gain lead jammer status against Stuttgart jammer Dolly BustHer both jammers earning three points.

Jam 9 had Birmingham’s Hilda Blizzhard jamming and blocking tirelessly and gaining four against lead jammer Miss Tsunami gaining only three. Jam 10 Birminhgam's Tear E Hatchet jammed with determination despite being knocked down by Stuttgart blocker who trampled over her to get back up near the penalty box.

Jam 11 both teams were demonstrating fantastic strategy in the pack holding back each jammer successfully leaving each team scoring zero on this jam with Violet Attack who had lead jammer against Public Enemy.

Jam 12 had lead jammer Hilda Blizzard gaining a fantastic eight points for Birmingham over Blitzkrieg Baby who failed to score. At this stage Birmingham was beginning to widen the point spread on the game leading by 10 points at 30-20.

Jam 13 lead jammer Violet Attack gains four points over Noxious Angel who failed to score. Jam 14 no lead jammer was called leaving Tear E Hatchet gains zero against Public Enemy gaining four points skating two full minutes. Jam 15 gains lead jammer and two points over Blitzkrieg Baby who fails to score.

Jam 16 had Gun Bunny who gains lead jammer and four points over Blitzkrieg Baby who failed to score. After the jam was called off and the ref’s whistle Gun Bunny was taken out in a very hard hit, from Stuttgart player, Miss Tsunami who was majored by the referees and sent off. An official time out is called whilst Gun Bunny gets checked out by the on-site medical technicians.

The Birmingham Dames were beginning to feel the strain of being down a jammer as Roisin Roulette was out for the game with sickness so skaters were required to skate more often with fewer breaks and this would have made a big difference in the second half. Less experienced skaters for Birmingham, such as Diamondback Belle and Victoria Cross had to skate more often than planned and as Roisin Roulette also skates as a pivot and blocker. At this stage the entire line up plan was re-jigged by the very capable Von Bitch and Jack Attack from the London Rockin Rollers, who were managing the line ups as honorary Blitz Dames for the bout.

Jam 17 Tear E Hatchet gains lead jammer and four points for Birmingham as Public Enemy fails to score. The final jam of the first period, Jam 18, had lead jammer Hilda Blizzhard scoring nine points over Polly Purgatory six. At the end of the first period Birmingham had widened the score to 49-30!

Second Period (49-30)

The second half began as it was notable that Stuttgart changed up their game responding in kind to the Dames tactical approach and had lead jammer seven times to Birmingham's three, with several jams lasting a full two minutes as neither jammer made it through without penalties - whether down to tired jammers or tighter blocking. Both teams made good use of walls at the front of the pack. All the blockers kept each other busy, and got right back into it after taking hits.

Jam 1 Tear E Hatchet jamming for Birmingham gaining one over lead jammer Blitzkrieg Baby who called it off after scoring three points. Jam 2 had Violet Attack who got lead jammer over Dolly Busther who failed to score. Elle Fire as pivot and Helen Fury as blocker combined to hold the Stuttgart’s jammer and Attack although left mainly to her own devices as the pack concentrated on holding the opposing jammer got through to score four points before she called the jam.

Jam 3 Hilda Blizzhard was up against Miss Tsunami; the SVRG skater got lead jammer and skipped through the pack as Birmingham were engaged in clearing a gap for Blizzhard; Stuttgart scored six, Birmingham scored one point and just as Blizzhard was breaking free Miss Tsunami called the jam to prevent any further score.

Jam 4 Violet Attack jamming against Polly Purgatory who would skate for a full two minutes. Violet Attack was taken down hard by Blitzkrieg Baby; there was no lead jammer although Polly Purgatory having passed twice through the pack tried to call off the jam to some confusion on and off the track. Scores were then showing 56-47.

Jam 5 Tear E Hatchet jamming against Public Enemy. Stuttgart got lead jammer but Tear E Hatchet pulled it back to outscore her with four points to Public Enemy’s three. Jam 6 Gun Bunny got lead jammer, assisted by the Dame’s pivot, blocker 2 and blocker 3 combination at the front of the pack holding back Blitzkrieg Baby. Bunny scored a fantastic eight points and called the jam, with Stuttgart jammer only managing to gain four points. At this point Birmingham lead 68-54.

Jam 7 Violet Attack and Public Enemy was a no-lead-jammer affair, hard fought points going Attack’s way as she scored six to the SVRG three (74-57).Jam 8 Tear E Hatchet against Polly Purgatory and after her initial pass was frustrated by a solid defensive wall at the front from Birmingham blocker Helen Fury and Union Jack-U-Up. Polly stepped inside the track to pass the wall and was promptly sent off for cutting the track for a major penalty to the penalty box. However, SVRG rallied and blocked effectively to prevent Tear E Hatchet capitalising on having the being the only jammer on the track (74-58).

Jam 9 Birmingham’s Tear E Hatchet was sent to the penalty box leaving them without a pivot. There was no lead jammer so Gun Bunny jammed but scored zero while Helen Fury and Violet Attack at the front of the pack did an excellent job holding Miss Tsunami, who scored one point but was eventually sent to the penalty box before the full two minute jam finished.

Jam 10 Hilda Blizzhard jammed against Blitzkrieg Baby. Helen Fury was sent off to the penalty box and Union Jack-U-Up delivered a stunning block taking out Blitzkrieg Baby. There was no lead jammer so the jam ran to the full two minutes with the jam ref reporting nine points gained for Stuttgart and only three for Birmingham giving a much needed boost to the visiting team.
Jam 11 Birmingham jammer Tear E Hatchet got tripped by blocker Blitzkrieg Baby who was sent off by the referees for a major penalty. Public Enemy was lead jammer as strategic blockers for Birmingham, Helen Fury and Violet Attack combined well to hold Public Enemy back only scoring two points while Tear E Hatchet caught up and the jam was called before Tear E could score (77-69).

Jam 12 Union Jack-U-Up jamming for Birmingham who concentrated on holding back Stuttgart jammer Polly Purgatory who gained lead jammer and scored four points, giving Union Jack-U-Up little assistance failing to score. Blocker for Birmingham Victoria Cross sent off (77-73).

Jam 13 with the score so close double-trouble Violet Attack came on to jam against Blitzkrieg Baby who got lead jammer and but was sent off for penalising. Violet Attack got trapped at the front by two Stuttgart blockers, with Hilda Blizzard struggling to assist Violet Attack chasing the defensive wall and making a bridge to the remaining pack so that the Stuttgart girls were still in play and able to hold Birmingham’s jammer back. No points by either jammer were gained. Very frustrating for the fans to watch from the stand but so difficult to spot when on the track.

Jam 14 Tear E Hatchet gains four after getting lead jammer against Polly Purgatory who scored two but despite Birmingham defensive dream team of Helen Fury, Hilda Blizzhard and Union Jack-U-Up combining to delay the Stuttgart’s jammer before the jam was called with scores at 81-75.

With very little time on the clock Birmingham jammer Violet Attack came out again against Blitzkrieg Baby; knowing that if the scores remained the same it was a Birmingham victory Violet Attack got in front of her opposing jammer and did some amazing positional blocking preventing the Stuttgart jammer from scoring at all as neither jammer passed through the startled pack a second time. Some of the crowd were confused, with Violet Attack receiving boos from the Stuttgart supporters but cheers from those supporting Birmingham. This was a fine demonstration of tactical thinking, positional blocking and the power of a properly deployed backside winning it for Birmingham (and England!) 81-75.

MVP for Birmingham: Gun Bunny

MVP for Stuttgart: All 12 of them

Most Points Scored by a Jammer: Hilda Blizzhard

Penalty Queen: Miss Tsunami

Birmingham will travel to Stuttgart, Germany on 31st January 2009 for the rematch.

BLITZ DAMES

16 Violet Attack - Captain

333 Union Jack-U-Up - Co Captain

N17 Roisin Roulette
57 Tear E Hatchet

52 Hilda BlizzHard

10 Helen Fury

79 Kiki Kasplat

14U Saintly Sin

11 Elle Fire

27 Victoria Cross

888 Gun Bunny

77 Diamondback Belle

STUTTGART

21 Miss Tsunami - Captain

7 Dolly BustHer – Co-Captain

13 Polly Purgatory

187 Evil-Lynn

6 Rambona

17 Noxious Angel

20 Spin Up

85 Public Enemy

99 Miss LizzFits

16 Teazer

81 Titty-Twista

9 Blitzkrieg Baby

A quick word from the Head Ref

With Band of Brawlers a mere two days away, and the full impact of being Head Ref at this bout slowly dawning on me, all I can really say is I want to see everyone there that can possibly make it! I want to see a good clean bout aginst two teams who have everything to prove to themselves and each other - both BBDD and SVRG lost their last bouts and so the competition is going to be blisteringly hot.

And after the last whistle has blown, and the dust has settled on the track, two teams of derby demons will be partying the night away at Subside, comparing bruises and drinking more than the UK Government recommends!

See you all at the bout!

Justine "JC" Credible

Blitz Dames vs London Brawling - Video Hi-Lites

Viva GlasVegas!

A troop of Dames will be heading off for fair Glasgow to join in the UK's first ever roller derby boot camp event with guest coaches from the United States --- Ivanna S Panking & Trish the Dish both from Arizona Roller Derby (formerlly from Sin City Rollergirls).

Both are legends in skating... heading up the resurrgence of our sport, they are more than fantastic skaters, they are LEGENDS!

We're soooo excited to be participating... we've forgone a regular bouting practice to attend (one week before our bout!) --- there's loads of activities planned --- including mixed scrimmaging and the UK's first roller derby wedding... now this is a special occassion being officiated by Elvis himself!

It's a unique opportunity for skaters in the UK to have a wee taste of RollerCon --- Glaswegian Style!

Look out skaters --- we're coming for yer wimmin!

More information check here http://www.glasgowrollergirls.com/mouthing_off.html

We'll post the photos we won't be too ashamed to share following the weekend!

x

Blitz Beauties Calendar Shoot

Exclusive on the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames Photoshoot!

So what have you been up to? We’ve been on a fabulous photo shoot darling! Imagine it’s early Sunday morning and you spot a bevy of blitz beauties (plus Chester Drawers) in skimpy uniforms hanging around the Birmingham bull. What would you do? Well I’m sure you wouldn’t send your obnoxious security guards to force us to leave the er ‘private property’. Anyway, who needs the bull when we have much more in common with ‘the floozy in the jacuzzi’ for our stunning snapshots.

After managing not to fall down the steps or in the fountain we headed down to Birmingham Backpackers (it’s like our second home, but with better décor!). Some of the girls were captured on film in the bedroom (ooh er!) while the rest of us chilled out in the lounge, or got our hair done by clever Kiki Kasplat- mistress of many trades! Some lucky ladies got to dress up in leather and sit astride some rather hot rides – Harley Davidson bikes that is – and the rest of us are not at all jealous, no really!

Next we went off on an adventure to Paintball Park in Kidderminster, where we commandeered a tank and entertained the troops by posing to our hearts’ content! Got a bit icky with the paint and dirt but we succeeded in our mission and got pics of Violet Attack straddling a rather large gun (it was her idea!).

While Violet and Kiki went to play dress-up in a grave yard (I can’t wait to see those photos) the rest of us headed for The Cross in Moseley. A few drinks (and some rather nice grub) later we were all raring to have more photos taken: The psycho valentines got saucy, the 50s femmes got fatal, the mad hatters got minxy, the spring pin-ups got super sexy, the boxing babes got bad, and then everyone hit on Santa (in a brutal beating by blockers way!). Finally, the evening saw most of us back at a favourite hangout – Subside – for yet more fabulous photos in our more natural habitat – a bar!

Please note: the pictures included here are from a previous shoot. If you want to see the sexy, sassy Blitz Dames’ pictures I’ve described you will just have to wait for our limited edition calendar to be published!

Derby love from Promise Payback #20-20

P.S. Santa survived and he wants you all to buy a Blitz Dames calendar for Xmas!

Viva Las Vegas! Report from the Road from Violet Attack

This was the final team line up, so there were 4 UK teams that made up Team UK (Corr Blimeys), Blitz Dames, London Rollergirls, London Rockin' Rollers and Middlersborugh Milk Rollers.

The Roster:

Sleazy Rider - BBDD

Tear E Hatchett -BBDD

Violet Attack - BBDD

Bette Noir (captain) - LRG

Kitty DeCapitate - LRG

Sky Rockit - LRG

Jack Attack - LRR

Speed Pixie - LRR

Von Bitch - LRR

Germaine Leer - MMR

Rita Von Sleaze - MMR

Miss Sinnocent - LRR

Slice Andice - LRG

Spooky Von Strange - LRG

Team Australia (Farkin Elles) was made of of 3 leagues from Brisbane (Sun State Roller Girls), Adelaide (Adelaide Roller Derby) and Victoria (Victorian Roller Derby League).

We played on Friday afternoon at the Las Vegas Roller Hockey Centre (http://www.lasvegasrollerhockey.com), after being moved from our oringinal location of Flamingo Banks on the Thursday night (which was good cos I had a stinking hangover on Thursday morning!).

None of the UK girls had skated on a surface like that before, which were weird tiles that were quite slippy, apparently that's what they called 'sports court' over there.

First jam went to Sky Rocket (LRG) against Evil Doll. Team Oz took an early lead by a few points.

Second jam went to Violet Attack. There was no lead jammer. I got through the pack first and when I came back round again I got a great whip assist from our pivot Bette Noir (LRG) to take Team UK ahead. I also lapped the Oz jammer.

Forth jam I was up again, this time getting lead jammer. I was able to cut through the pack with ease and call off the jam before the Ozzies got any points! At the end of this jam score was Oz 10, UK 15.

Seventh jam was Tear E Hatchet. It started off great with Tear E getting lead jammer, but as two UK blockers were sent to the penalty box Team Oz's defence was able to strengthen and their jammer was able to pass her taking them to a slight lead. Unable to get through the pack

Tear E called off the jam.

After this the UK tightened up their game. Even though though Team Oz got lead jammer a few times the speed and agilty of UK jammers Kitty DeCapitate (LRG) and Jack Attack (LRR) meant they were able to sneak past the Ozzie jammers, racking up extra points before they even had a chance to call it off.

The last jam of the game went to Violet Attack. After going crashing to the floor early in the jam (I some how landed on my ribs, and it bloody hurt!) I got up and skated through the pain just as the jammer for Team Oz was being sent to the penalty box. Just after I got through the pack the first time a Team Oz blocker was sent off for tripping me! I again rose to my feet and gave it all I could to get those last few points for Team UK.

FINAL SCORE = TEAM OZ, 28 - TEAM UK, 43

Here's some other info/highlights of our RollerCon:
Me and Sleazy being upgraded to business class on our flight out there.
Me being scared shitless of taking off any little bit of turbulance we had and Sleazy having to hold my hand!

My ears popping so badly that I could barely hear anything and sleazy not being able to hear anything I said cos I was mumbling (It seems with your ears blocked you sound alot louder in your head than you actually are)!

Leaving Las Vegas airport for the first time and being blasted by the 45 degree heat, we ain't exactly used to that in England!

Me and Sleazy being stopped in the lobby of the hotel by the Chicago Outfit cos they recognised my picture of our Myspaz!

Everyone loving the Violet Attack badges!!!

The amazing abilty Tear E Hatchet has of aquiring the biggest bruises in the world!

After partying the night away with LRR I was so ill I ended up spending half the night on our bathroom floor and had a stinking hangover the next morning!

My amazment at the fact that in Vegas you get chips with your breakfast! (WTF, no wonder they're all fat!)

Me bemoaning to Sleazy that I hate the whole American tipping culture (why the fuck should I tip someone for just doing their job?!)!

Me arguing with Sleazy that planes AREN'T the safest form off transport...

While taking part in the co-ed scrimmages I took out one of the male jammers, Quadzilla!!! (Although I got sent off for it, think I ended up blocking him out bounds!)

All four of us being totally bemused by the extremeness of US TV (apparently just using a mobile could kill you, judges advertise themselve on TV, if you go to a snazzy private hospital you will no longer have terminal cancer!!! and everything is, like TOTALLY amazing!)

Me complaining to Sleazy that she went to bed too early cos I wanted to go out and party (I mean, all three of them were normally in bed by midnight for God's sake, in Vegas!!! So I went off to explore at 1am by myself!)

The 'Dealetainers' at the hotel. How do you fancy Elvis, Tina Turner, Billy Idol or Freddy Mercury dealing you in in a game of poker?! Then, they performed (mimed) in the evening. The rollergirls definately showing Freddy the most love.

Me being pissed that all the UK girls left the black and blue ball early so i had no one to stay with and had to leave too, when my outfit was totally rockin!

Me being the ONLY skater from the UK to take part in the 3 hour Team Awesome workshop on Saturday afternoon (cos the rest of them pussied out!) and being so knackered that I slept through the entire second half of the WFTDA bout that happened after it!

Me being personally fitted for skates by the guys from Riedell! After trying the Black Widow's I was asked by them to try on their brand new boot, the 965. As soon as I put them on I was sold. But have to wait til October for my bright red Minx skates (http://sincityskates.com/2nd/minx.html) as they haven't been put into production yet cos they're waiting for the BRAND NEW plates I ordered them with to be made! (They're the first plates to be made specifically to go either on the right or left boot) Think I'll be the first skater in the UK to have a pair!

Me being asked to be on someone challenge team next year!

Me being pissed that Sin City didn't have my size in the wrist guards I wanted and that the WFTDA stall sold out of the 'Some girls are built for speed vests', but happy that I got to use the money to buy my leather Converse!

Mine and Sleazy's plane to Chicago being delayed because of storms in chicago, missing our connecting flight and having to spend 15 hours in Chicago airport without them even giving us so much as a bottle of water! Luckily, Sleazy had a bit of cash and bought us McDonalds! We ended up getting back to England a day late AND our luggage wasn't even on our flight, mine was delivered the next day!!!

ATTACK

Helen Fury's Derby Widow Guide

A Roller Derby Widow’s Guide to the Grief Process

So, fellas, and some lucky ladies, your partner has joined the derby. You thought it would be fun for your woman to pick up a new sport, and now you sit in a house full of sexy hosiery wondering when you will see your partner again. This is a challenging time fraught with confusion and loneliness. Know that you are not alone. The mourning process is real. Every widow’s experience is unique, but you may recognise the following:

Denial – Many of us are ashamed to admit that early in the derby widow experience, it is actually exciting. Suddenly, it’s ok to watch a mass of women in short skirts plow into each other without turning off the internet browser filter. Your home is often filled with your wife’s hot, hilarious teammates. Your lover’s fitness is advancing at an astonishing rate, she’s taken over changing tyres, and she seems to have found an inexplicable comfort with firearms. When she drags you to the local all-night roller disco, you beam with pride at her skating skills.

Anger- It’s 9:30 p.m. and you haven’t seen Madamoiselle de Derby since yesterday. The house is littered with skates or wristguards that smell like week-old roadkill that previously subsisted on a diet of limburger. She’s spending all her time doing ‘tracking stats’, writing ‘line-ups’ or glued to some message board discussing the merits of taping make-up sponges to her blisters. Then, when you slump off to the pub to drown your sorrows with your mates, she rolls in two hours after you, red-faced and laughing about the ‘after party’.

Bargaining – You are a product of the modern age, no? You can handle this if she’ll just give in a bit. But your attempts to keep Wednesdays for ‘us’ time and coax her to take the summer hols somewhere where she can’t visit a local league just aren’t making it go away.

Sadness - You miss her. It’s common to experience ‘What if’ questions at this stage, like ‘What if I had just encouraged her to join something more delicate, like street fighting or kendo instead?’

Acceptance – Hard as it may be to understand this, you will eventually learn to embrace your roller derby girl. You may start to realise that your mates crowd around with anticipation to hear about the latest pile-up at practice, that when you finally watch a bout it feels like your first rock concert, or that you’ve tried on the referee stripes and have developed a taste of your own for the track. The women of the roller derby are a rare breed who will find the derby with or without you. All you can do is thank the derby goddesses above, and start on that sign for the next bout.

For more to soothe your soul, visit Birmingham’s own original roller derby league at www.blitzdames.com. Better yet, come to our next bout on the 25th October against London Rollergirls at Cocks Moors Woods Leisure Centre, Kings Heath and see what the obsession is about. Doors open at 3p.m and the action starts at 4pm. Tickets soon to be available online.

Written by “Helen Fury”, #10 Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames, and approved by my own dear derby widow.

Viva Las Vegas! Blitz Dames Represent Team UK!

Four of our Blitz Dames have travelled to Las Vegas Nevada to attend Rollercon - the Annual International Roller Derby Convention where over 5,000 skaters from leagues across the world congregate in celebration to skate, party and skate some more!

This is the second year that the Blitz Dames have pilgrimaged to the high deserts of Sin City to join forces with other skaters in fever-pitched (and fever-pitched temperatures!) to compete in challenge bout.

Last year, Blitz Dames were joined by other girls from London, Australia, New Zealand and Canada, collectively forming Team World, prevailing against opponents Team USA 46-24!

This year, four of the hardest, fastest and most fearless skaters on the league go to represent Birmingham & the West Midlands on the roster for 'Team UK' to face-off against the Australian dream-team the 'Farkin Elles' for the very first time in history!
Double-Trouble jammer / blocker Violet Attack will show them her back on the track.... Hilda Blizzhard will bust that pack wide open with her fearless rampages. TearE Hatchet will no doubt give them a sneer as she slides by them with the longest legs roller derby ever saw... and making them eat track is our legendary Sleazy Rider!

Team UK is a dream-team of skaters from the Blitz Dames, London Rollergirls, Leeds Roller Dolls, London Rockin Rollers and Glasgow Rollergirls.

The challenge bout happens Thursday, 31st July at 10:15pm PDT - (that's 7 hours behind us!) - UPDATE TEAM UK VS TEAM OZ HAS BEEN RESCHEDULED FOR SATURDAY - MORE DETAILS TO COME!

Even at this time of night the temperatures will be soaring over 41°C!

Best of luck to you Dames --- our wishes and at that time, dreams of your victory will be at mind... We want video, photos and if you can pack me a mai thai!

Skate Hard, Hit Harder.

Bee Sting #101

PHOTO: L-R Sleazy Rider & Violet Attack

Sleazy Rider: Hell on Wheels European Premiere and Open Scrimmaging

Rocking up to Stockland Green Leisure centre just before 4pm on Saturday I was met by a load of Roller Girls – ready to roll – all fired up from the first screening of Hell on Wheels at the Electric Cinema earlier that afternoon.

While our amazing team of track monkeys did some last minute adjustments to fit the two tracks round Stockland Green’s obstacles, (thanks guys!) many girls had already got their skate on and were whizzing round.

After a brief welcome from the lovely Kiki Kasplat, Fury and I had the honour of leading all the skaters (newbies and advanced alike) for the warm-up fun. So many skaters meant we had to split over the two tracks for a quick 10 min sprint and stretch before the fun (and pain) really began...

‘Skate till you puke,’ a Bleep Test and Pyramid Sprints saw an awesome effort from all skaters, refs too! Ballistic Whistle kicked ass more than once in STYP and the Beep test! Ladies – we all got some work to do – we know we’re better than boys!

Sweaty and panting the skaters took a quick break before the scrimmages got going. Advanced skaters took to one track while the newbies got some Sleazy action – working on stops, and falls – in the other. The shouts from the advanced track soon filled the hall and newbies couldn’t help but stand and watch while the real action got under way.

Not one to miss out - I joined the advanced girls midway through the first half, while the luscious Mr Chester Drawers took over newbies – getting them skating pack drills.
Scrimmages were timed-out for a quick reshuffling of teams, before Black & White hit the track once more.

Black team dominated in the first half, but in the second they struggled against the onslaught from the Whites. It’s such a great moment in a derby girl’s life when you skate with other leagues, and pull together to KICK SOME ASS! Special mention has to go to my fellow White team members, Dolly Minxture and Rushin’ Doll from the Leeds Roller Dolls– you two were AWESOME!

On the Black team Von Bitch from LRG and our own Ms Bee Sting hit hard and played fast, I’m sure I’m not the only girl going home with bruise or two!

Scores weren’t kept, but no-one cared. When the final whistle blew we all cheered and hi-fived, grinning like idiots just for being part of this beautiful game!

Newbies got some scrimmaging action too, under the watchful eye of Roisin Roulette and The Skatrix they got their game on for the last 30 minutes.

For the final cool down we all came together on one track for a mammoth game of ‘Dodge Ball’ before exhausted roller girls (and refs) collapsed into crumpled heaps across the track.
Only one thing could revive us.

And that one thing was PIZZA!!!

I’ve never seen roller girls get their kit off so quickly. Ok, so maybe I have ;). Finding energy from somewhere we sprinted from the hall and booty blocked our way to the front of the line. Not that we needed to rush, thanks to Rob & Shnafu we had a line of pizzas spreading out before us like a glorious, edible Great Wall of China. I swear you could see it from space!
Stuffed, weak kneed and starting to hum a little, I said my goodbyes. Leeds RD’s were off home having seen HoW earlier that day. Plenty more were sticking around for the after party at Subside and some were still to see the film, me included. I headed home for a wee rest. No time for napping though, I spruced myself up and was straight out the door again, for the 11pm screening of Hell on Wheels.

At the Electric cinema I bagsied myself a sofa, and stretching out my aching limbs I snuggled up to Kiki Kasplat. Just as the lights were going down I’m sure I saw Chester put his best yawn-stretch-arm-round-shoulder moves on Mistress of Merch, Ms LornaTik - in a bid for a free t-shirt me thinks!

The film was ace! Funny, moving, inspiring and even a little familiar! We all cheered at the end when the Blitz Dames appear on the map of the world, showing how Roller Derby has become a Global phenomenon.

This is something that EVERY Roller Girl should see. I was proud that the hard work of Blitz Dames Helen Fury & Bee Sting had bought this to Birmingham for the European premiere.
I was proud too of all Roller Girls and Derby Leagues everywhere! Setting up a league, running a league and being a skater is hard work. Things are never going to run 100% smoothly, but today showed me that we all here for the same reasons – because we love the game!

And beer. We all love Beer.

In Subside we joined the other skaters to party the night away - in the name of LOVE and in the name of ROLLER DERBY!

A ‘tired-and-emotional’ Sleazy Rider
x

Trailer: "Hell on Wheels"

for immediate release: Hell on Wheels European Premiere!

Fresh from Official Selection screenings at festivals across North America and Australasia (including the South by Southwest Film Festival and the San Francisco DocFest), Hell on Wheels is the ass-kicking documentary film telling the story of a group of Texas women who band together to resurrect roller derby for the 21st century. Emerging from the Austin music and arts scene, these women create a rock and roll fuelled version of all-girl roller derby that has spawned the derby craze that's sweeping the nation.

Now the UK own Roller Derby league – the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames present the first European screening at Britain oldest functioning cinema: The Electric Cinema, Birmingham , UK .

Premiere date: 5th July 2008

Screening times: 1pm and 11pm

Tickets: http://www.etickets.to/buy/?e=1324

Screener DVDs available - call Diamondback Belle on 07968 291 625

2001: The birth of an all-girl roller derby revolution begins in Austin , Texas .

Starting a revolution ain't an easy affair. After overcoming countless hurdles to organize, recruit and train, the rowdy rollergirls known as Bad Girl, Good Woman (BGGW) enjoy a smashingly successful first year, only to find a rift forming among the ranks of the 80 women. Polarized by issues of insurance, finances, and the direction the league should take, disenchanted skaters pull together and collectively bring their grievances to management. Accusations fly, and emotions run high as the two camps face off.

Ultimately, 65 of 80 skaters walk and form their own player-run league.. Dealt a near fatal blow, management doesn't give up. Instead, they recruit and rebuild their league to rebound in dramatic fashion. What emerges from the near-disaster are the Lonestar Rollergirls and the Texas Rollergirls. Both leagues pioneer a modern era of roller derby and inspire thousands of women across the US to follow suit.

Shot over a four year period and utilizing both verite footage and interviews, Hell on Wheels documents the creation of modern-era roller derby first two leagues.

The success of the Texas leagues has inspired hundreds of women across the world. Leagues of rollergirls are currently organizing or operating in Los Angeles , New York City, Seattle , Phoenix , North Carolina , Houston , Nevada , Tucson , Kansas City, Dallas , Madison , New Jersey , Pennsylvania , Australia , England , New Zealand , Canada and beyond.

For further information, screener DVDs or phone interviews with key cast and crew, please contact Michelle Duffy (skating as Diamondback Belle with the BBDD) on:
T: 07968 291 625
E: michelleduffy77@yahoo.co.uk
www.hellonwheelsthemovie.com www.blitzdames.com
online press kit and links to hi-res images and trailers at: http://www.hellonwheelsthemovie.com/presskit.htm

Hell on Wheels - A day of Derby Madness!

Hosted By: Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames present "Hell on Wheels! the European Premiere!
When: 05 Jul 2008, 14:00
Where The Electric Cinema
47-49 Station Road
Birmingham, B54DY
United Kingdom
Description:
Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames

Click Here To View Event

General admission tickets for the film only are NOW available in limited quantities --- Rollergirls: get your tickets now!

www.blitzdames.com

Friday the HURTeenth! Blitz Dames vs Team Canada

Canadians Coming to Brum for Roller Sporting Event

BIRMINGHAM - History is being made for Birmingham's roller skating history as the best women roller warriors take to the track to bring more fast paced, furious blocks and jams of roller derby to family audiences! Team Canada have come together to compete against local rollers the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames in what will prove to be the unluckiest day in Team Canada's skating career on Friday 13th June 2008.

The Canadian team has combined the best skaters from leagues across their country to come together to travel thousand of miles to make this the first ever intercontinental roller derby bout in Birmingham ever!

This is the finale of the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames first season. League founder, Bee Bentley (known on the track as 'Bee Sting') comments: "starting up this league from scratch with just myself and seeing where it is now at the end of our first competitive season, well, I'm very proud of this achievement and for bringing roller derby to Birmingham".

Roller derby has a long and colurful history dating back to the 1930's in America. In the 1950's there was a international roller derby team which traveled and played in London and some European cities, but this is a first for Birmingham.

This all-women roller sport is set to cement it's worldwide popularity when Drew Barrymore's directorial debut 'Whip It' comes out early in 2009 starting 'a-lister' Ellen Page as the star rollergirl.

Tickets are £7.50 in advance available online at http://www.blitzdames.com/ or £8 at the door. Children under 5 are free and children under 14 are half price. Students can receive discounted entry with a valid NUS card at £5.

The event, aptly titled "Friday the HURTeenth" - Blitz Dames vs Team Canada, Friday 13, June 2008, Doors 6.30pm, Bout 7.30pm, Cocks Moors Wood Leisure Centre, Kings Heath, Birmingham B14 6ER

END:

Editor note: Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames are self managed, self funded, not for profit amateur sports league for women 18+. They practice weekly at Stockland Green Leisure Centre in Erdington. The Blitz Dames formed in October 2006. For more information on the league visit http://www.blitzdames.com/.

Press are invited to attend the event --- please reply with names for a press pass.

Event Round-Up!

We've got some exciting things happening in Central England!

24/05/08 - 2pm

The Blitz Dames will be featured as skaters in this weekend's PRIDE Parade in Birmingham City Centre - from 2pm! Come and cheer us on!

31/05/08 - 7pm onward

Roller Blitz! Old Skool Roller Disco
Aston University Student's Guild Hall.
Aston University

Skaters from around the UK - from all disciplines will be skating to the funky disco beats in this 14+ event to raise funds for the league and Cancer Research UK!

Entry at door £6 / Skate Hire £4

Join Roller Blitz facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12624829210

13/06/08 - 6:30pm - 9:30pm
Friday the HURTeenth! Blitz Dames vs Team Canada!

History is being made for Birmingham's roller skating history as the best women roller warriors take to the track to bring more fast paced, furious blocks and jams of roller derby to family audiences!

Team Canada has come together to compete against Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames in what will prove to be the unluckiest day in Team Canada's skating career... Be there!

Tickets on sale NOW: http://www.blitzdames.com/

The Blitz Dames proudly present:

Friday the HURTeenth!

Blitz Dames vs Team Canada Friday 13, June 2008 Doors 6.30pm Bout 7.30pm
Cocks Moors Wood Leisure Centre Kings Heath, Birmingham

The Canadians are Coming! Friday the HURTeenth: Blitz Dames vs Team Canada!

The Canadians are Coming! Friday the HURTeenth: Blitz Dames vs Team Canada!

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! http://www.blitzdames.com/

History is being made for Birmingham's roller skating history as the best women roller warriors take to the track to bring more fast paced, furious blocks and jams of roller derby to family audiences!

Team Canada has come together to compete against Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames in what will prove to be the unluckiest day in Team Canada's skating career... Be there!

The Blitz Dames proudly present:

Friday the HURTeenth!

Blitz Dames vs Team Canada

Friday 13, June 2008

Doors 6.30pm Bout 7.30pm

Cocks Moors Wood Leisure Centre

Kings Heath, Birmingham

Roller Blitz is Coming to Birmingham!

Roller Blitz Attacks Brum’s Weekend Scene to Raise Money for Cancer Research UK

BIRMINGHAM - Crane-framed loves its modern cultural icons, having established an enviable prowess with institutions from a gleamingly extraterrestrial shopping complex to cheerful Christmas markets and emotionally moving Chinese buffets. Now our city at the heart of England is about to revitalize another icon of the retro-modern: the roller disco.

The group behind the mirror ball is the Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames roller derby league. These women typically approach roller-skating with a system of speed and full-contact manoeuvers, often sending opponents flying off their skates and towards the crowd.

But now the motivation is to promote a groovier side of the roller world. Not a group who deal in the subtle, the Blitz Dames are planning an authentic event with some of England's best known jam and freestyle roller skaters, many of whom have been at it since the eighties. All the elements of traditional roller disco will be there: coloured lights, huge wooden floor, raffle, and nonstop beats featuring disco, funk, and dance music.

As the league's Events Director, Helen Fury states, "This disco is run completely by skaters, who know what makes skating a life long passion. Besides, it was time to bring the fun of roller skating to those who might prefer not to be hit."

However, the league is equally keen to make use of their softer aspects - percentage of the profits from the roller disco will be donated to Cancer Research UK whilst also helping towards running costs of the league, which itself is a not-for-profit, volunteer organisation.

Tickets are £6 on the door with £4 for skate hire. With over 200 pairs of skates available for hire, they are sure to have your size!

The event aims to attract a wide age range from 14+, with a curfew-friendly start time of 7:00pm, but continuing long after the kids go home, until 1:00 in the morning.

"The roller disco will be a real alternative to a night in the bars, something for twenty and thirty-somethings who want to enjoy a night with their mates, and a wicked excuse to dust off your vintage clothes." says league member Bee Sting.

So where can you go to get your counterculture roller fix? The Roller Blitz takes place on the 31st of May at Aston University Students' Guild Hall. More information is available at www.myspace.com/rollerblitz.

What a Derby Day!

What an incredible derby day! It all began with the league meeting where we discussed many key issues and got loads agreed and organised. The new website development is really taking shape, the upcoming events are being planned meticulously and new headshots were taken by the wonderful Jenny from JHT.

There was no hesitation as we strapped on our skates and had an amazing session. With some very promising newcomers, newbies improving by the minute and advanced skaters working on various skills, the hall was filled with an electric, hard-working atmosphere.

After practise, a group of Dames headed for Central Backpackers for a sponsorship meeting, stopping on the way in Vintage to pick up some spangly shades for the upcoming Birmingham Pride parade.

The meeting went very well with Ian Randall of the Backpackers signing up for the ‘General of the Army’ level of sponsorship and kindly doubling the amount that he is offering to us in trade. What a guy! That was even after the extremely loud farting sound caused us all to erupt in fits of giggles- how professional! We still think it was you Skatrix!

So off the Dames skipped and jumped to Wokmania; the second leg of the all-you-can-eat tour. It’s not just about the skating you know! It gained a few marks for ambience and aesthetics, however, the serious health and safety issues with the slippery floor and the lack of a chocolate fountain put it well behind Big Wok in the rankings.

All in all, a derby day to remember. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- I love those Dames!

Kiki Kasplat

Notes from a Newbie, by KiKi KaSPLAT

It's been quite an adventure... and I am just beginning. Roller derby has grabbed me, pulled me up by my ears and thrown me into a pool of fast, feisty, furious girls with attitude. However, instead of drowning, I am merrily bobbing along on the waves of their supporting hands like a successful stage dive.

I will never forget the fear of the first practise: Stockland Green Leisure Centre, December 15th 2007. Meeting everyone was a pleasure; they were all so welcoming. It was when I was presented with the hire skates. At that moment, I realised that I might fail. Failure is something that I don't take too lightly and this might be one of those moments. Slowly strapping them on to waste maximum practise time was my first tactic. My friend, Lorna, and I dropped into silence! Born to a protective mother, I had never had wheels on my feet before in my life. Cycling ten doors away and then turning back was all I ever managed. It took me forever to stand up and after a two hour practise I was harldy moving confidently. Did it put me off? No way!

It was the last practise before the Christmas break and all I wanted to do was get onto America and sling my money their way that evening. I was buzzing. But I had to wait until the next time so that I could try other rollergirls' skates on to make sure I got the sizing right. That was a painful few weeks! Christmas- pah- forget that, I wanted skates! For those about to embark on this journey, be warned. It is an addiction and should come with a warning sticker. There hasn't been a moment since that day that I haven't thought about derby.

I really started to skate in January 2008 and, whilst desperately trying to find that perfect derby name that no-one else had already registered, rushed to sign up for the London Rollergirls' bootcamp, where I fractured my thumb! Did THIS put me off? No way! Please don't take my tales of fear and fractures as a sign that this is a path that you do not wish to follow. It is a sport with risks. In my opinion, if you don't take risks, you don't have fun. Perhaps I will keep my next injury quiet....

Attending the London Rollergirls' bouts was incredibly exciting and memorable, although don't ask for details of each jam- that's all just a blur. Seeing this game in real-life is very different to watching it on DVD (or witnessing the horror of the US fights on youtube!) The crowd is unlike any other. Cradling a beer in one hand and a tattooed male in the other, the women are clad in fishnets and heels and are bopping their heads to the punk and fairy cakes being delivered. Aaaaah. You gotta love it.

Refereeing the Blitz Dames' second bout, against Glasgow Rollergirls, was a real honour and a great way for me to get involved with this sport. Scrutinising the rules on a nightly basis and bombarding the forum with questions became a routine. Treading the streets of Birmingham with my skates slung over my shoulders on a marketing push was just one more way for me to get involved. The bout day and night were amazing. Hard work.... but amazing.

The Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames took me under their wing from day one and were more than happy to listen to my views, include me with decision making, make me feel supported and go out of their way to ensure I felt part of the team. I couldn't have wished to have met a friendlier and happier group of girls.

It's raining outside. I am in here writing this. To be honest, I'd rather be skating!

Kiki Kasplat